It's a Cat's Life!

"Hello. My Dad (Matt) gave me permission to write on his esteemed blog. Well, I actually agreed to do this to add some style to a pretty drab blog. I don't know much about blogs, but there is only one item of food/play on this thing (Jeffrey the Hamster) so its dull to me.

"I'm a year and a half old, which is pretty much a teenager in cat terms. Also, I'm a house cat. This is okay with me, since I get daily cat treats and a perpetual supply of cat crunchies... yumm... and all the Whiskers 'Oh so meaty/fishy' I could ever want. On occasion, my parents try to fob me off with cheap tinned cat food - but I'm not stupid, or desperate. I'm a prime specimen.

"Now a particularly sensitive issue with me is my sister, Leia, who I spent the first year of my life with. We were allowed outside whenever we wanted, although my parents insisted on getting rid of my manhood first. Oh well, it was worth it to hang around with the local alley cats. But one Sunday morning she was skuttling across the road after me, and wasn't quick enough. A big moving metal thing hit her. Silly girl. I was pretty upset, and spent a whole day growling and not eating; thinking that this might persuade my parents to bring her back to life, but they didn't seem to be able to oblige.
"I'm still good friends with 'The Don' who runs this neighbourhood, but only see him when my parents take me out on the lead. Still, I get free run on the washing line, and I'd like to emphasise that I LEAD THEM and not the other way around.

"During my short but interesting life, I have visited Stourport where my Mum's parents live. However, some other cats live there, and run the house, so I had to resign myself to second fiddle. Which is not my style. I'm much more comfortable in Nottingham, where my Dad is from. There, at his Mum's house, I'm in charge, and get to sleep on whichever bed I like. I have also been to Scotland which was wonderful. I got the full attention of 4 adults, although most of my time was spent supervising them in the garden and making sure they tickled my belly on a regular basis to demonstrate their submission to me. I even got to go on the beach, but there wasn't much to eat there except crabs. I prefer gormet shrimps.
"Well, I better leave it there. Here are some pictures of me from today. I gave my parents a surprise when they came downstairs this morning to see what I'd done to the light in my study. I was using it for a trapeze but it wasn't strong enough. Dad has put a new one up now so hopefully that'll be more suitable. I'm very proud, as you can see from the picture, of my handiwork. In fact, I think it is a work of art. My parents would have punished me for being so naughty, but they were too busy laughing at what I'd done to be angry! Humans are strange. But I'm not complaining, because their presence means I don't have to work for my next meal. Except that pesky Jeffrey the Hamster... one day... Oh well, all my best wishes to you all, and I would appreciate any cat nip you have spare. Au Revoir!"