Damian 10 years on... (Part Three)

FROM PREP SCHOOL TO UNI

The state education system was not very conducive to Damian’s individual needs. Scared of his poor health prognosis, the teachers forbade him from leaving the classroom during play-time, and so his only perk was finishing off the free milk which was left over from first break. One day, another boy decided to stay in with him and play with his Transformers toys. Damian was reluctant to donate any of his milk, though! This young boy, Luke, was Damian’s loyal friend right up to his death. Eventually the opportunity presented itself to move Damian into an environment which was more holistic and understanding. He went to Grace Dieu Manor, a Catholic independent preparatory school, run by the Rosminian Institute of Charity. Here he thrived, and developed essential life skills through inspiring instruction. He would talk hours every weekend about his lively teachers and exciting lessons. He developed a passion for English and other languages, like Latin. He also loved all forms of Art; painting (for which he received particular commendation), pottery and woodwork. Despite the teasing which can be expected of not being able to join in all activities, he was calm and refused to react adversely. This earned him the respect of all.

Before he progressed onto the senior school, Ratcliffe College, he broke his leg in a freak accident involving a piano! For months he needed wheeling around in a wheelchair; although this had its perks, it affirmed his disdain to be seen as ‘different’ or requiring care. During his senior school years he proved his academic ability with numerous studies prizes, and obtained excellent GCSE results. For A-level he specialised in Computer Science, English and Theology. He attained respectable grades, with particular amplitude for computing, having famously taught the head of the department a great deal himself! On interview he made a strong impression with the Master of St Benet’s Hall at Oxford University, who admitted him as an undergraduate to study Theology and Philosophy. Two years later the same Master, Dom Henry Wansborough, would preside over Damian’s funeral with a personal and heartfelt eulogy. Damian’s mother, Monica, reflects on this difficult upheaval:

10 years on, I divide my life into two halves: that before he died and the utterly different path I had to take afterward. My whole being was changed... it was as if I was re-forged in a kind of fire.

It seemed shortly after Damian’s death that God spoke to me directly and told me that Damian was with Him and that He had given me Jerome (who was 4½ years old). He quelled the incredible anger I felt after the death.

Recently, I was having difficulties with Jerome, now approaching 15, and was at a loss at what to do... amazingly I found myself praying... but it was not to God, it was to Damian. So I have become a mother who can ‘pray’ to her own son, who is with God.

As Father Henry said to me ten years ago, “Life goes on.” I must admit I was somewhat sceptical about this in my case! But like him, I have learnt much from my son Damian, and before I lost him I bathed in the serenity he had. He was beautiful and I am eternally grateful that God chose me to be his mother.

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