Damian 10 years on... (Part One)

Part One of a Six-part series

A PRECIOUS LIFE

This time ten years ago, the chapel at St Benet’s Hall was full beyond capacity. A huge number of people came to bear their final farewell to a 20 year old man cut off in his prime. Many people who couldn’t come sent letters of condolence. As the Requiem Mass was offered for the repose of his soul, the standing-room-only became hot and still, thick with respect and sorrow. The silence was broken by the occasional sob, and then suddenly by the thud of someone fainting! Had another young man’s life been snuffed out?! Thankfully not; a representative from Grace Dieu and Ratcliffe College (and a friend of mine) had fainted and keeled over in the most unexpected of ways. Perhaps the only person who would have seen the funny side of this was the man we were all grieving: Damian Coghlan.

He had such a joyful and exuberant sense of humour. Laughter for him was not a mere expression of an interior appreciation for some clever wit; it was a shaking up of his very being. This was clearly evident if anyone saw him watch a comedy show. He would buckle over, draw his knees up, throw his head back, and wail with an uncontrollable explosion of excitement. It is easy to be sad and depressed when someone dies, especially one so young. Happy memories often fade the fastest of all, amidst the sombre and macabre disposition which grief surrounds us in. But as healing takes place we find a new awakening of the essence of this life, which can never be smothered or stifled. Damian was certainly blessed with a rare gift of unique joy. He knew exactly how to shake himself out of the dark and sinister feelings which life can sometimes evoke; he would turn to laughter. A laughter that was genuine and heartfelt.

For most people, especially his age, it was hard to understand where Damian mustered this joy from. He had a lot to feel downtrodden about, but things which can easily make us bitter towards life somehow gave him extra strength. Damian was born thirty years ago with a congenital heart defect which hung above him like an omen of death for all of his days. He carried this cross of suffering, not only as a mark of reduced life expectancy, but also of gradually deteriorating health. As he passed through his adolescence, his lips became more often dusky than not, and most of the time he seemed breathless and struggling for energy. As Eisenmenger’s Syndrome presented itself, the medical profession had less and less to offer. Damian was faced with Haemoglobin levels spiralling upwards; a sign that his body was trying desperately to provide him with more oxygen, whilst putting him more at risk of fatal clotting events. Most people were simply ignorant of the extent of his problems due to his happy demeanour and refusal to give up. Of course several activities were out of his grasp; sports, long walks and, to his greatest regret, dancing! But this never stopped him pushing his abilities to the limits.

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