Marriage

The altar of the LORD you cover with tears, weeping and groaning, because He no longer regards your sacrifice nor accepts it favourably from your hand; And you say, "Why is it?"-- Because the LORD is witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have broken faith though she is your companion, your betrothed wife. Did He not make one being, with flesh and spirit: and what does that one require but godly offspring? You must then safeguard life that is your own, and not break faith with the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel, and covering one's garment with injustice, says the LORD of hosts; You must then safeguard life that is your own, and not break faith.

(Malachi 2:13-16)

These words were spoken about 400 years before Our Lord Jesus Christ was born; a great prophecy of God’s true intention of marriage. When Jesus had to answer his opponents about the widespread use of divorce, he did not look to the Fathers of the Faith, to Moses or the Law. These were given because of their “hardness of heart” and did not represent the true nature of Marriage which God’s New Covenant in Christ was restoring. Jesus looked back further to the model of Marriage found in the book of Genesis. The first union of Man and Woman (Adam and Eve) carries this very important insight into Marriage, before sin had entered the world:

This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh...Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.

(Genesis 2:23-24)

Jesus then explained to us that what God has joined together, therefore, no man can put asunder. The married couple are no longer two, but one flesh. Marriage was instituted, not by men, but by God. It is a true and real sacrament which Christ restored to its original dignity through his salvific action in his life, death and resurrection. The marriage bond, united by Christ himself, grants abundant graces to the married couple which allow them to fulfill their duties of this magnificent covenant.

Marriage, in this religious context from where we can draw full meaning, is an inviolable bond between the spouses which cannot be broken. It mirrors the Most Holy Trinity with the fact that it is a perfect love which forms the bond, instituted by the spouses through their vows made on their wedding day. It is important in all marriages to refer back to this initial institution constantly. Marriage is not merely a state which two people have casually found themselves in, a lifestyle which can dispensed with when it is no longer convenient: Marriage is a promise made by both parties, freely and with love, that they will serve each other until their dying day. Therefore it is imperative to place ‘love’ in the proper context. Many people will argue that people fall in and out of love. This implies that love is merely a feeling which comes and goes. Love is actually more based on the will, and in reality is a wellspring of God’s own Love for humanity. When seen in this context, Love is a constant desire, yearning, and will to serve. This kind of Love cannot merely die, unless it is through sin (sloth, pride, etc).

The perfect example of Love can be seen through God’s action of sending his only Son, Jesus, into the world to love and die at the service and for the salvation of humanity. St Paul tells us (Ephesians 5:21-32) that Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. This suggests a Marriage which consists of two complementary parties with different responsibilities towards each other and different qualities. What they have in common is their vow to serve each other perfectly, in a completely selfless and noble way. They both draw their strength from God, and neither is concerned solely for their own benefit.

We can see why, therefore, it is only death which can sever the Marriage union. This is because it is based on a promise, made at the wedding, to serve each other for ever. This may not always be easy, but as long as the couple strive for the Love of Christ in their lives, difficulties will be overcome and any suffering will be transformed into joy.