"Hello again Humans. I have noticed, amongst my fan-mail, several requests for more input to this blog from my expertise and wisdom. Well, you must understand, that as an incredibly cultured and learned cat, I have a very busy schedule. I have to fit in, several times each day, meals; snacks; washes; grooms; walks in the garden; naps; play-time; security patrols; rolling in dust; litter-tray time; claw-sharpening (preferably on expensive furniture); time with my brother Bertie; sniffing Maddy... the list goes on. So how to fit in such a mundane chore as blogging is quite beyond me.
"Anyway, in the interest of world domination, I thought it better that I keep up the popular profile. Since I last wrote there were a lot of visitors to inspect the new rugrat (otherwise known as Madeleine). I have now realised that this is not, in fact, a rare breed of hamster. How have I come to this conclusion? Simple - She does not run about in a ball, eat hamster food, or sleep in the Rotastak castle.
"On the subject of hamsters, Bertie and I have been getting on fine (despite what everyone else, including said hamster, will tell you). I eagerly anticipate my visiting rights to soon be unrestricted in this regard. Oh, yes - the other day the humans/slaves moved his Rotastak castle to a different location (the spare room). Something to do with a leaking toilet (nothing to do with me). I was panic-stricken searching all over the house; who was going to help him with his rage problem now? I have made a lot of ground getting him to 'open up' and 'express his anger' which has seemed to work a treat. Perhaps the next stage of his rehabilitation will be to air his views on this domain.
"I have to go now - its fish on a Friday and I have to check out the situation in the kitchen (Granny has even brought some prawns around today. For me, of course). This last picture is of myself before Madeleine was baptised. I have no need for such sacraments, being perfect myself. I am partial to drinking from the holy water stoop, though."Anyway, this is all very nice. But at what point did you forget I'M TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!"
Omygosh! Our cat, Francis, is the exact image of your Brother Luke. And has the same "attitude"--world domination etc... "Francis" adopted us on October 4, and so we put him under the patronage of the Saint from Assisi. ("Francis" has a long way to go to live up to the name of his patron.) I loved the picture of B. Luke in the snow.
ReplyDeleteBrother Luke's cool!!! He's a dude!
ReplyDeleteHow did you get your cat to walk on a leash? When I would try to train mine, she would go limp and do the non-violent resistance thing.
ReplyDeleteVery funny! I can empathise with you, my mother has three cats. Hope exams go smoothly...
ReplyDelete